Communication Skills

Definition seven presented in the text book suggests that communication is “the transmission of information, ideas, emotions, skills, etc., by the use of symbols—words, pictures, figures, graphs, etc” (Trenholm, 2008, pg. 20). This is the most appealing definition, it feels all encompassing and yet still open to interpretation. Humans begin communicating from the moment they are born. Every parent fretfully waits for that first cry of a screaming infant protesting the new cold surroundings. That first scream signifying the child is alive, and the child expresses the first emotion of unhappiness. Without the ability to communicate with each other we would have been a very ill evolved species, and all the advances the human race has made to date would not exist. People should be motivated to study communication because it is such a vital part of today and tomorrow’s society. It is important to have an understanding of how to communicate interpersonally, in a group, and organizationally.

I believe I am very competent in my interpersonal communication skills. It is important to know how to speak your mind, how to listen, and how respond to what others are saying. Having versatile language skills can aid in communication; in the world we will have to communicate with all ages, five to eighty five. Vocabulary certainly helps differentiate between who you’re talking to. Vocabulary skills are vital to communication; an article (“Girls more ready to learn than boys: study,” 2006) suggests that activities like sports can be a great skill building setting for vocabulary and communication. I feel I have a wide vocabulary and imagination that allows me to formulate words in ways that everyone can understand. Everyone from friends, family, romantic partners to co-workers are unique in their methods of communication and understanding that is beneficial. People communicate in several different ways, it is important to be able to pick up and understand those around you in order to initiate good conversation. Speaking to one another is how we get to know each other and without positive communication we begin to misunderstand those around us. Without communication there is no group effort to complete tasks, resulting in less advancement.

Living in such a diverse cultural community means that we need to put forth even more effort into understanding each other and our differences. Communicating with people who are different can help gain understanding of the ever changing world. Being accepting of people who are not like I am, and enjoying them for that aids in my ability to connect to others. Often people stick in groups based upon similarities, such as shared values, morals and overall beliefs about life. We tend to instinctively reach out to those who have the best chance of understanding us, and that is someone we have a lot in common with. For instance I want people around me who have an abundance of positive traits, or people who believe in justice and equality. However, people need to realize that they should not judge based off of stereotypes and shallow first impressions. Getting to know someone can broaden your own perspective on life and break through the barriers of stereotypes. Sadly though, many times people fail discover new opportunities for growth due fears and close minded judgments.

It is important for people to develop a lush sense of personal constructs rather than relying upon prototypes and global categorizations. Just as important is not falling victim to chronically accessible constructs which, “are likely to color and bias our interpretation of others and their messages” (Trenholm, 2008, 52). It is vital to find depth and diversity in the people around us. Even two people who are very similar on the surface can and usually do have vast differences underneath it all. By digging for the depth in people I will be able to have more productive conversations with them, and develop a bond stronger than the surface bonds that can be created because society does not look past their initial judgment of others.

Communication tends to follow three relationship development dialectics: expressive-protective, autonomy-togetherness and novelty-predictability. In the beginning of relationships we tend to be more introverted or protective of ourselves and what we choose to share with each other. As a relationship bond grows the level of trust and understanding increases and therefore the amount of self-disclosure also increases. I believe that being in an intimate relationship people usually choose more togetherness vs. autonomy, especially in the beginning, before the balance of intimacy and independence levels out. Oftentimes relationships can become very predictable after awhile, making one key to success in relationships a person’s ability to find novelty in the routine and mundane. One article suggests that, “the goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship” (Parker-Pope, 2009). Humans bond over sharing new experiences with each other. All dialectic tensions are very prominent in relationships and I have definitely had my fare share of dealing with them. Sometimes it is easier to find balance in the first two, but last one novelty vs. predictability has always been a struggle.

Finding success in interpersonal communication seems pretty straight forward, but it is just as important to be able to thrive in group communications. I find success in this due to my ability to be like a chameleon and change my communication style to fit those around me. As an individual I am very mature, quiet, loyal, passionate, and optimistic. Finding a way to make these traits positive aids in my ability to communicate has been beneficial. Maturity makes it very easy to relate to people of all ages. People seem to appreciate passion, and those around them who seem to have a genuine interest in the conversation. Optimism and a positive outlook on life always manages to put an upbeat spin on the dialogue.

The ability to switch between being the leader or the follower makes it easier to find a place or role within a group. In a party where I am the dominant personality, I have no trouble taking the reins of the discussion. In that scenario leadership skills and responsibility become second nature. However, if there is a more dominant personality in the group I will follow their management if I am confident in the other person’s ability to get the job done. In a group certain territorial boundaries are established, and when these boundaries are crossed issues such as jealousy can arise. Every day can be a constant battle over affections and attention of friends and family. Outsiders to well established groups usual find a struggle when trying to integrate because roles begin to shift and humans tend to resist change because it is a challenge. An outsider usually must put in more effort than anyone else to make their inclusion as seamless as possible. For example, I get very territorial when my best friend mentions hanging out with other people, because I fear that I will lose her.

Social scientists find that the, “psychological distance between our personal bubble and others is established whenever situations allow it” (Kelleher, 1995). Personal space is something that is constantly challenged in new groups with people who have different understandings of the term. Usually people keep those they don’t know so well at least an arms distance away from them at all times, this is sometimes referred to as their bubble. The closer two people become mentally tends to correlate equally in a physical aspect. I keep strangers at a large distance, but my family and best friends can be right on top of me. Being so close physically is an intimate interaction which requires trust and understanding between two people. A person’s level of personal physical space relates directly to the first dialect. More personal space is to closed communication as less personal space is to open communication. However, that’s not always the case. Some people due to their nature or the way they were brought up do not put as much store in the idea of personal space. There are those people who get to close for comfort to strangers and this can have a strained affect on the conversation causing the other person to flee.

Extended families are large groups, and each person in that group has a well defined and definite role. For instance in my family my mother the organizer, the leader, the one everyone looks up to for sane advice. My grandmother is the nurturer, the one we can all turn to when we need the warmth of a kind heart. I also have members of the family that fill roles such as the selfish one, the trouble maker and so on. My own personal role in this family tends to be the idolized one. They all tend to put me on a pedestal of perfection. I get along with everyone because they seem to feel better about themselves when they are in my presence, and fell important to be talking to me.

Organizational communication is just as vital as the other forms of communication and also potentially the hardest to find success in. In a work environment there is always a hierarchy of people, a social ladder of sorts that is absolute and clear. People at the bottom of this ladder may find difficulty in communicating with those higher up. Most of the time I am an open book when I am around people, but when it comes to those I work with I tend to be pretty tight lipped. Some people go to work an empty shell, there simply to get the job done and get paid. Sharing who you are with these people can be scary, because they hold your livelihood in their hands. In my case, I will listen to my co-workers tell stories personal to them, but I don’t tend to reciprocate that level of openness.

It can be difficult to define a difference between the rolls of co-worker and friend once the line has been blurred, so some people tend not to intertwine them at all. For instance I have a wonderful co-worker at my new job who would probably be a great companion outside of work, but due to a shared job I do not intend to develop a friendship outside of the office. I am a very friendly person, and it is difficult for me to separate my bubbly personality from the way I should act around my superiors which causes me to have a communication shut down. I am very intimidated by my superiors, not matter how wonderful they are and this has a dramatic impact on our relationship. It is very difficult for me to have any communication with them.

In today’s failing economy governments have offered extended benefits to laid off workers if they enroll in “training programs to improve their work skills” (Bradner, 2009). Having good work content skills is important to organizational communication. Skills such as problem solving, time management and teaching are all beneficial to a company and its success and they often look for these aptitudes in new hires. Personal skills such as flexibility, enthusiasm and persistence can also be valuable in an office setting, mastering these skills have had a strong impact on the way my employer judges me. Technical skills such as computer literacy, graphic design and research have been becoming even more important in today’s society. Having been trained with these skills sets you apart from those who haven’t, without these skills it’d be difficult to get any job.

Being able to communicate interpersonally, in a group, and organizationally are vital skills for success in life. It is important to study communication to master each style of correspondence. Studying vocabulary, cultural differences, and relationship dialects can make it easier to understand and communicate with the people around you. Understanding yourself makes it easier to develop a bond with others. Leadership, territorial and role issues are bound to plague and relationship, but the more you learn about it the more likely these problems can be overcome without concern. Communicating at work due to hierarchal chains can be difficult, but having mastered organizational skills can make this transition easier. Nobody can escape communication, it is all around and all encompassing, the better it is understood the more success one can find in life.  

Sources

Eric Bradner Capitol Bureau / (317) 631-7405 bradnere@courierpress.com. (2009, September 8).
            Jobless insurance fund tops on agenda lawmakers see if $300M fix is in. Evansville
            Courier & Press (2007-Current),A.4.  Retrieved December 1, 2009, from ProQuest
            Newsstand. (Document ID: 1875354981).

Girls more ready to learn than boys: study. (2006, December 28). The Times - Transcript,p. B2. 
            Retrieved November 30, 2009, from Canadian Newsstand Complete. (Document
            ID: 1187319001).

Kathleen Kelleher.  (1995, July 24). Up Close and Personal? Uh, No Thanks :[Home
            Edition]. Los Angeles Times (pre-1997 Fulltext),p. 3.  Retrieved December 1, 2009, from
            Los Angeles Times. (Document ID: 21499671).

Tara Parker-Pope.  (2009, May 4). Old Love, Renewed; Scientists have found that rekindling a
            flame may be as easy as breaking routine. National Post,AL.5.  Retrieved November 30,
            2009, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 1701482731).

Trenholm, S. (2008) Communication, an introduction to the study of human communication
            (fifth edition). 2008 Pearson Education, Inc.